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Post by Fili & Kili on Jul 8, 2021 22:42:27 GMT
Edited in the new lines!
I need to sign off for today, have a doctor's appointment pretty early tomorrow. Kili should be in soon but he's not allowed to interact with the challenge so we can't update the post past this point. I trust y'all to pick the best ones!
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Post by Phobos & Deimos on Jul 8, 2021 23:30:26 GMT
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Being forced into a room full of karens and entitled parents and children all screaming at you to donate everything you have.
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Post by Phobos & Deimos on Jul 8, 2021 23:32:39 GMT
To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 8, 2021 23:39:43 GMT
To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement. *standing ovation* That's hilarious!!!
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Post by Bilious on Jul 8, 2021 23:50:19 GMT
4) Pickup lines for the gods. I feel like a good call for this one would be to adapt the Lord's Prayer in some way like Jesus has been doing but as pickup lines Not creative enough to figure out how though forgive my trespass as I trespass towards you. I don't feel like it works still, but that feels like the best line to attempt to change. (Well maybe daily bread also works somewhere)
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 8, 2021 23:56:46 GMT
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing:
Zoom, the Deity of Loneliness and Business Meetings. Maskos, the Deity of Health, Anger, and Darwinism. Covidus, the Deity of Pandemics and Stupidity.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Just like the humans in the pandemic right now, I'm super interested in health and safety. You be health, I'll be safety.
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 9, 2021 0:09:26 GMT
T Minus 50 minutes. I can submit this thing if that works for you guys because I'm around and I've got nothing else going on besides dinner at some point (I'm snacking on Cheezits to hold me over).
I'll go ahead and put the new ones in a list and then I'll vote for my favorites and await your guys' votes.
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Hades
Valhalla
Posts: 301
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Post by Hades on Jul 9, 2021 0:10:35 GMT
i'll put up a vote for my favorites as well
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 9, 2021 0:14:11 GMT
THE UPDATED LIST:
1) The REAL reason Hades won't leave the underworld.
Persephone's whips and chains only go so far. The Underworld has not had a single Covid case and he's not about to cause an outbreak because some Karen doesn't want to wear a mask. He's a necrophiliac Hades: "No way I'm going down there." Zeus: "I triple-dog dare you." Why in the hell would he come back up here? Cerberus has separation anxiety. People. He enjoys the hell out of it.
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Forced into winning every Candy Crush level without failing a single time. Having to spectate survivor games where the winner never confessionalised Being forced to play Mario Party with a defective joystick They pull up your social media and replay all of those embarrassing tweets you made in 2014. You're given a phone that doesn't hang up and have to answer campaign calls for the US 2020 presidential election for all eternity. Watching a tiktok of Hades and your grandmother on loop Allowing you to try to escape, but only if you use Mike Wazowski as the plan-maker. "Using mainly spoons..." *young man enters the room* "Hi, I'm Logan Paul." Playing an infinite loop of Baby Shark. You're allowed to play Survivor, but you have to attend every single goddamn tribal council. In the other room, a faucet constantly drips, except for when you approach it. Then it'll stop, and you think it's over, until you leave and it starts up again. Somewhere, there's a faucet dripping, AND YOU CAN'T FIND WHERE IT IS. You're forced to wear styrofoam shoes and walk across a styrofoam floor. You're surrounded by bubble wrap that has already been popped. Mosquitoes buzz all around you, especially close to your ear. You're stuck in a year-long time loop. What year? 2020. Being forced into a room full of karens and entitled parents and children all screaming at you to donate everything you have.
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing [blank] the Deity of [blank]
Credido the Deity of Credit Card Debt Plankton, the Deity of Karens. Karen, the Deity of Bad Haircuts and Personalities. Manageria, the Deity of Shutting Up Karens. Kardashian, deity of booty Doge, deity of crypto Zoom, the Deity of Loneliness and Business Meetings. Maskos, the Deity of Health, Anger, and Darwinism. Covidus, the Deity of Pandemics and Stupidity. To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Are you stiff or just happy to see me? ~Hades Hey Athena is that you? Because I just can't get you out of my head. Hey Jael is that you? Because I just can't get you out of my head. "Hey, baby, want to taste my pomegranate?" "Hey, Zeus, do you want me to strike you down?" "I'll hold up the world for you." Just like the humans in the pandemic right now, I'm super interested in health and safety. You be health, I'll be safety. Forgive my trespasses, but I just couldn't be led away from this temptation. (Does that work?)
5) Things you can say about Zeus but not your partner.
Some people believe he exists At least you're not into necrophilia like Hades. "I mean, he just sleeps with everyone." "His dad conquered Uranus." Random guy: "So I hear you have daddy issues." Zeus: "Yeah, he was really into swallowing." You're not my real dad Being with you is electrifying
6) Ever since the Greeks met the [blank] pantheon, [blank] and [blank] have been inseparable. Doing [blank] every day.
Republican, Ares and Mitch McConnell, Doing [war crimes] every day. Gen Z, Jojo Siws/Any other recognizable TikToker and The Fates, Doing terrible TikTok dances every day.. Ever since the Greeks met the Redneck pantheon, high school boys and Dionysus have been inseparable. Doing burnouts every day. Ever since the Greeks met the American education system pantheon, Sisyphus and all of the kids have been inseparable. Doing 8 hours of homework every day. Ever since the Greeks met the 2021 Survivor pantheon, Prometheus and the Hitorigami tribe have been inseparable. Doing tribal council every day.
7) The new hit movie starring one of the Gods.
Dawn of the Dead: A Hades documentary Prometheus 2: This Dude Is On Fire Zeus 2: Electric Boogaloo Snakes On a Plane 2: Medusa's Revenge. Indiana Jones and the Revenge of Medusa. Tagline: Why did it have to be snakes? A Song of Dionysus and Fire: A Drunk Reenactment of Game of Thrones
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 9, 2021 0:24:19 GMT
POPPY'S FAVORITES:
1) The REAL reason Hades won't leave the underworld.
The Underworld has not had a single Covid case and he's not about to cause an outbreak because some Karen doesn't want to wear a mask. He's a necrophiliac. Cerberus has separation anxiety. People. He enjoys the hell out of it.
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Having to spectate survivor games where the winner never confessionalises Being forced to play Mario Party with a defective joystick *young man enters the room* "Hi, I'm Logan Paul." You're surrounded by bubble wrap that has already been popped. You're allowed to play Survivor, but you have to attend every single goddamn tribal council.
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing [blank] the Deity of [blank]
To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
Kardashian, deity of booty Maskos, the Deity of Health, Anger, and Darwinism.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Are you stiff or just happy to see me? ~Hades Hey Jael is that you? Because I just can't get you out of my head. "Hey, baby, want to taste my pomegranate?" Just like the humans in the pandemic right now, I'm super interested in health and safety. You be health, I'll be safety.
5) Things you can say about Zeus but not your partner.
You're not my real dad. "I mean, he just sleeps with everyone." "His dad conquered Uranus."
6) Ever since the Greeks met the [blank] pantheon, [blank] and [blank] have been inseparable. Doing [blank] every day.
Republican, Ares and Mitch McConnell, Doing [war crimes] every day. Ever since the Greeks met the 2021 Survivor pantheon, Prometheus and the Hitorigami tribe have been inseparable. Doing tribal council every day. Ever since the Greeks met the Redneck pantheon, high school boys and Dionysus have been inseparable. Doing burnouts every day.
7) The new hit movie starring one of the Gods.
A Song of Dionysus and Fire: A Drunk Reenactment of Game of Thrones Dawn of the Dead: A Hades documentary Snakes On a Plane 2: Medusa's Revenge. Indiana Jones and the Revenge of Medusa. Tagline: Why did it have to be snakes?
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Hades
Valhalla
Posts: 301
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Post by Hades on Jul 9, 2021 0:32:25 GMT
HADES VOTES (top 3 for each prompt):
1) The REAL reason Hades won't leave the underworld.
Hades: "No way I'm going down there." Zeus: "I triple-dog dare you." Cerberus has separation anxiety. He enjoys the hell out of it.
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Being forced to play Mario Party with a defective joystick You're surrounded by bubble wrap that has already been popped. Mosquitoes buzz all around you, especially close to your ear.
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing [blank] the Deity of [blank]
Kardashian, deity of booty Zoom, the Deity of Loneliness and Business Meetings. To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Are you stiff or just happy to see me? ~Hades Hey Jael is that you? Because I just can't get you out of my head. Just like the humans in the pandemic right now, I'm super interested in health and safety. You be health, I'll be safety.
5) Things you can say about Zeus but not your partner.
Some people believe he exists Random guy: "So I hear you have daddy issues." Zeus: "Yeah, he was really into swallowing." "His dad conquered Uranus."
6) Ever since the Greeks met the [blank] pantheon, [blank] and [blank] have been inseparable. Doing [blank] every day.
Republican, Ares and Mitch McConnell, Doing [war crimes] every day. Ever since the Greeks met the 2021 Survivor pantheon, Prometheus and the Hitorigami tribe have been inseparable. Doing tribal council every day. Ever since the Greeks met the Redneck pantheon, high school boys and Dionysus have been inseparable. Doing burnouts every day.
7) The new hit movie starring one of the Gods.
Dawn of the Dead: A Hades documentary Indiana Jones and the Revenge of Medusa. Tagline: Why did it have to be snakes? A Song of Dionysus and Fire: A Drunk Reenactment of Game of Thrones
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 9, 2021 0:35:11 GMT
Oh, you actually managed to narrow it down to your top three. I struggled!
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Post by Papatuanuku on Jul 9, 2021 0:37:09 GMT
FYI, I'll keep tabs on how many votes for each in a Word Doc so I don't have to make the comment harder to read. Unless you'd prefer for me to edit the comment.
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Post by Cerberus on Jul 9, 2021 0:43:59 GMT
1) The REAL reason Hades won't leave the underworld.
Hades: "No way I'm going down there." Zeus: "I triple-dog dare you." Cerberus has separation anxiety. He enjoys the hell out of it.
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Having to spectate survivor games where the winner never confessionalised *young man enters the room* "Hi, I'm Logan Paul." You're surrounded by bubble wrap that has already been popped.
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing [blank] the Deity of [blank]
Manageria, the Deity of Shutting Up Karens. Kardashian, deity of booty To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Are you stiff or just happy to see me? ~Hades Hey Jael is that you? Because I just can't get you out of my head. "I'll hold up the world for you."
5) Things you can say about Zeus but not your partner.
Some people believe he exists "I mean, he just sleeps with everyone." "His dad conquered Uranus."
6) Ever since the Greeks met the [blank] pantheon, [blank] and [blank] have been inseparable. Doing [blank] every day.
Republican, Ares and Mitch McConnell, Doing [war crimes] every day. Ever since the Greeks met the American education system pantheon, Sisyphus and all of the kids have been inseparable. Doing 8 hours of homework every day. Ever since the Greeks met the 2021 Survivor pantheon, Prometheus and the Hitorigami tribe have been inseparable. Doing tribal council every day.
7) The new hit movie starring one of the Gods.
Prometheus 2: This Dude Is On Fire Snakes On a Plane 2: Medusa's Revenge. A Song of Dionysus and Fire: A Drunk Reenactment of Game of Thrones
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Post by Bilious on Jul 9, 2021 0:46:49 GMT
I'd better attempt to narrow this down to ones I like an stop distracting my thoughts elsewhere.
1) The REAL reason Hades won't leave the underworld.
The Underworld has not had a single Covid case and he's not about to cause an outbreak because some Karen doesn't want to wear a mask. People. He enjoys the hell out of it.
2) The new modern punishment they are using in Tartarus.
Having to spectate survivor games where the winner never confessionalised Being forced to play Mario Party with a defective joystick Somewhere, there's a faucet dripping, AND YOU CAN'T FIND WHERE IT IS. You're surrounded by bubble wrap that has already been popped.
3) To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing [blank] the Deity of [blank]
Credido the Deity of Credit Card Debt Kardashian, deity of booty Covidus, the Deity of Pandemics and Stupidity. To adapt to modern times, the Olympians are now introducing Karen, the Deity of--- "What do you mean I'm only a deity? You should know that I'm a SINGLE MOTHER! I deserve to be the queen of gods, not the lowly kinds of- " *zap* Zeus: She was annoying me. Disregard the last announcement.
4) Pickup lines for the gods.
Are you stiff or just happy to see me? ~Hades "Hey, Zeus, do you want me to strike you down?" "I'll hold up the world for you." Forgive my trespasses, but I just couldn't be led away from this temptation.
5) Things you can say about Zeus but not your partner.
Some people believe he exists "I mean, he just sleeps with everyone." "His dad conquered Uranus." Random guy: "So I hear you have daddy issues." Zeus: "Yeah, he was really into swallowing." You're not my real dad
6) Ever since the Greeks met the [blank] pantheon, [blank] and [blank] have been inseparable. Doing [blank] every day.
Gen Z, Jojo Siws/Any other recognizable TikToker and The Fates, Doing terrible TikTok dances every day.. Ever since the Greeks met the Redneck pantheon, high school boys and Dionysus have been inseparable. Doing burnouts every day. Ever since the Greeks met the 2021 Survivor pantheon, Prometheus and the Hitorigami tribe have been inseparable. Doing tribal council every day.
7) The new hit movie starring one of the Gods.
Dawn of the Dead: A Hades documentary Prometheus 2: This Dude Is On Fire Indiana Jones and the Revenge of Medusa. Tagline: Why did it have to be snakes? A Song of Dionysus and Fire: A Drunk Reenactment of Game of Thrones
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